Well the day I dreaded is now upon me. Tomorrow, I start a new class, one that will have a tremendous impact on me, no doubt. I really can’t blame others for this mess that I find myself in, I clearly got myself in this situation all by myself; although I now wish that I had done a lot of things differently that fateful day. It was the day of my eighteenth birthday, normally a very looked forward to day. I had hoped for some awesome presents, mainly from my parents, but what I did that day was not my best moment.
I had woke early that morning anticipating, a special and eventful day. I dressed in some sweats, then made my way to the kitchen. I found some cereal, added some milk, and then poured myself a glass of orange juice. This is of itself, a normal start to my day, then my one mile run, through the park down to the river and back. Since I had recently graduated from high school, no thought of studying or homework clouded my mind. I had three months off, before I would resume schooling at a university upstate from our home.
I had fairly good grades in all my studies, but did especially well in English and language studies. I had managed to get a four year scholarship to the college because of my grades, and my expertise in languages. I could speak five languages fluently, three that I had classes in, the other two, ones that I had learned off the internet. For some reason languages came easy to me, once I had learned Latin, the rest followed very quickly, as soon as I had learned the basic verbs and vocabulary. I even did some translating for a local business, gaining me valuable experience in several different languages and a little spending money to boot.
I am fairly easy to get along with, although I usually keep to myself some. I can and often interact with new people quite easily, but after the initial introduction, I tend to withdraw within my shell to keep from getting too involved with them. I fear that once people get to know me personally, they will see through me and I will find myself alone and miserable again.
My problem is I tend to say what is on my mind, no matter how hurtful that might be to the person I am talking with. It has lost me countless friendships, my parents and my girlfriend the only people still having anything to do with me. After the episodes, I wish I could take those words back, but the way that I present them, most encounters end in disaster. My mom has found me psychiatric help to try and find a way to keep those confrontations from happening, but so far, nothing has helped. Even the reason that I continue to do it has evaded detection.
I find myself at the house today, my parents planning a dinner out to celebrate my birthday tonight. My girlfriend the only other attendee, to the party. Julie and I get along, considering that I have unloaded on her a couple of times during our relationship. She leaves in tears, but so far she has returned to my side, and I have had the decency and smartness to keep my mouth shut for a while. She is a very beautiful woman, a year older than me, and an honors student. While my GPA is 3.7 hers has always been perfect at 4.0 for as long as I have known her. Her interest is in psychology, wanting to go into counseling after her graduation. I guess she looks at me as her first and only patient, one that needs all the help she can impart.
I laid around the house, watching some TV, then later went to my room to play some of my music. Later in the day, I changed my clothes after taking a shower. I wanted to be ready when my mom came by to pick me up around four. Dad is coming straight from work, and Julie would meet us at the restaurant for the evening’s festivities.
My parents both had professional careers, ones that they had developed over the years. Dad is a COO for a large company in town, and Mom is a personal assistant to one of the biggest law offices in the state. Other than courtroom appearances, she does most of the ground work for the lawyers, writing the briefs, and taking testimony from the clients. Even though her title is as a personal assistant she pulls over a hundred thousand dollars in salary a year. So you can see, I never have wanted for much in my life other than a car.
That was decided years ago for me, I would get a car once I turned eighteen and showed myself to be an adult in my behavior. The age restriction came about when my first outbursts made an appearance. That was in my first year of high school, a shouting match between myself and a teacher, a quick trip to the principal’s office and my parents were summoned. I unloaded on the teacher, several nasty words were used in my diatribe, unfortunately for me it was witnessed by quite a few students and several other teachers. My frequent outbursts have kept that dream of mine on the back burner for years, frequently being told that as long as the outbursts continued there would be no car.
I am hoping that today, that will change, since the age requirement has now been met. I texted Julie several times today, a frequent habit of mine, I guess to make sure she is still talking with me. I had no idea what she has got me, although I knew she bought it several months ago when we were shopping in a mall a short distance from here. I had always resented those trips, she drove us there, getting her car when she was just sixteen. I envied her, but was also very jealous of her. Only a year younger than her I had yet to have a car, in fact I had ridden the bus to high school, the entire four years, a most embarrassing and humiliating experience for any high school student, especially a male.
Julie and I have talked about my situation often, she has witnessed several of my outbursts, twice on the receiving end of my verbal abuse. She thinks there is something deep in my psyche that resents things in my life, thus causing the tirade when I am provoked. I know when I keyed off on her, both times I had reacted to statements she made about me, making me feel useless and unworthy. I not having a car was one instance, the second time is when she asked if I normally berate people I care for?
When I get into one of these moods, I tend to overdo things, making statements that have nothing to do with the situation or discussion at the time. The instance with me not having a car is one of those instances. It started with a question about whether I could borrow my parents car, to keep her from driving across town to pick me up, then back to a restaurant a couple of blocks from where she lives. My parents had nixed that idea in the bud, no civil behavior, no driving of any kind allowed. She was put out a little, and told me that if I would grow up, none of this would be necessary.
A true statement, but one that I had to defend for my own mental image. I called her names, accused her of manipulating her parents with her feminine wiles, anything to hurt her, because she had hit the nail on the head with her observation. Half way through my tirade she got up and walked out, it was nearly two weeks before she showed up again. I apologized profusely for my statements, she did not forgive me, but accepted my statements as being part of my current behavior.
Mom showed up on time, me joining her when she pulled into the driveway. Not much was said on the way to the restaurant, both my parents knowing that any time I could blow up, and dreading the time when I did. The restaurant is a favorite of mine, has been ever since I was taken there to eat when I was eight years old. Julie was there already, waiting in the lobby for the rest of us. We were shown to a table in a semi-private room, then seated. The waitress took our drink orders, Mom announcing that Dad would be there shortly, a last minute meeting delaying him some.
The drinks are served and Julie hands me my present. The box is small, like a jewelry box, wrapped elegantly in foil paper. Mom recognizes the name on the box, and lets out a sigh. I carefully unwrap the box, then open the inner jewelry box. It is a necklace with a locket on the chain. The locket is open, a picture of both of us occupying the middle of the locket. I try to hold back my emotions, why did Julie get me a female necklace? “I am a male and will not wear anything so feminine.”
Mom sees me starting to get upset and quickly grabs Julie and heads to the ladies restroom. I sit there fuming at the obviously female gift, wondering if this is what Julie thinks of me. Dad approaches the table, sees me and wishes me a Happy Birthday.
I explode at him throwing the box on the table, then tell him I am no sissy, I will not wear anything so feminine ever. He frowns, takes the box and examines the locket. He reads the inscription on the cover of the locket, suggests that I am being too hasty in my judgment, then lays the box on the table. I am furious with all of them, how can they humiliate me in front of everybody. I am a male, nothing sissy or feminine about me, how can Julie do this to me?
Mom and Julie return from the restroom and I cut loose on her. I throw the box at her, yelling that I am not a sissy, I will not wear her necklace, so just take it back. She stares at me, then quietly picks up the box, wishes me a Happy Birthday and walks out. Mom is seething and grabs my ear, then hauls me out of the restaurant to the parking lot. Several people giggle as I am dragged from the restaurant. When she gets to the car she leans me against the side of the car and lays into me.
“You still show no concern for anybody but yourself. Julie asked me about the gift she got you, I told her I thought you would enjoy it, a true reflection of her love and respect for you. Something to treasure from one of the few to stand by you, even though you have repeatedly abused her with your verbal lashings. Now since you have ruined the evening for all concerned, you will go back in there and keep your mouth shut for the remainder of the evening. Do I make myself clear?”
I nod and we go back inside. There is quite a bit of snickering as I head back to the table, my eyes locked to the floor, my cheeks bright red at my embarrassment. Dad is clearly upset at my actions and states the obvious immediately. “You’re Mother and I had got you a car for your birthday, a surprise, but with you actions tonight, I see that you have not learned, so you can forget about the car. I will take it back to the dealer and cancel the order.”
“If you want a car I would suggest that you get a job and buy one yourself, it will not be coming from us. I am severally disappointed in you, a gift for you from somebody that obviously loves you and you treat her this way. No wonder you have no friends, as far as the necklace being feminine, I wear one all the time, a gift from your mother to me when we were dating, a gift that I treasure every day I slip it over my head. Now order what you want to eat, since we are here. There will be no further gifts other than this dinner and I am seriously thinking about not doing that.”
The waitress took our orders, I played with my food, but barely managed to eat what was on my plate. As we left the restaurant, I thanked my parents for the meal. “I wish I could take back my words tonight, but that is unlikely, so I apologize for my behavior. I know you have heard the same words before, but I still keep uttering them, maybe this time I will learn to be quiet and listen to all of you.” There was no comments to my apology from either of them. The ride home was in silence, a deathly quiet had settled over my family and I was the cause of it.
I immediately went to my room, turned on some music and tried to get a hold of Julie. She had turned off her phone, not wanting to take any calls from me. I thought about the necklace, about the picture inside, and about the writing on the cover of the locket. I had not even taken the time to read it, just over reacted and let my mouth make an ass of myself, hurting the only person that has shown a continued interest in me.
I drifted off to sleep, to be woken in the morning by my mother. She told me to get dressed in something comfortable and be downstairs in five minutes. It was not said in a suggestive tone, but more of a demand. I quickly got dressed, than made my way downstairs. My Mother pointed to a chair at the table, telling me to be seated and keep quiet. Dad entered the room, and joined her on the other side of the table. Their expressions were serious, not a smile on their faces.
Mom is apparently the one in charge today, clearing her throat and beginning to talk. “Your father and I have discussed this in detail for most of the night. We agree that something has to be done and that time is now. We will dangle the carrot in front of you one last time to see if we can get your behavior to change. There is a course for young ladies, for which you will volunteer for. You will make all the arrangements yourself, including convincing the organizers that you desperately want to take the course.
It runs for ten weeks, giving instructions to young females to make their appearance more feminine and how to interact with the opposite sex. If you want the car you will sign up for the course, attend every session and learn to be a proper female. We feel this is necessary since you have no regard for other people, especially females, with Julie the latest victim of your total disregard of the feelings of others. Maybe when you are learning to be a female, some of the caring and feelings will sink in a little, it for sure can’t make you any worse than you are now. Simply put, excel at the course and become a proper female or no car, that means your full cooperation at all times and not a single outburst during the term of the class.
To make sure you behave Julie will be taking the course with you, at our invitation to make sure you comply with all of our requests. I will expect she will not want to talk to you, you have hurt her feelings quite badly. Maybe seeing things from a female perspective might make you come to your senses a little faster.
This means you will dress as a female every day of the class, perform the instructions given you, and come home in full female attire. You might want to rethink you statement that you are not a sissy, you will be looking like one for quite some time. Of course, you can avoid the sissy label, my being totally female in dress, appearance and manners. Your choice, all of this is up to you.
To entice the deal a little, this is a picture of the car we had envisioned for you, a current year model of a Boss Mustang, fully equipped and with all expenses paid for your stay at college. No negotiating on this, this is the deal and the only way you will get the car. I stress the only way! You have until Monday to sign up for the course, after that all deals are off.
I must point out that we are not forcing you to do this. All of the decisions are yours, as well as the rewards if you complete the class. There are other ways you can attend college, since you have a scholarship, but any additional funding for anything that relates to school must come from you. We will not support you while you continue with this behavior. That means a job, and most likely nearly full time to cover your shortfalls. It all comes down to whether you want to learn to be civil in your dealings with people or if you want to continue your disastrous ways. I admit that the class is a highly unusual and bizarre solution to your problem, but we have tried everything, the time has come for a totally different kind of approach.
You can return to your room, to think things through, and decide on what you are going to do. The choice is all yours, but at a cost to you personally. Maybe all those eruptions of your mouth, might have been stopped, when you truly realize how much they cost you personally.” I did try and get a word in, but she was adamant, the deal as it stands or no car. Nothing more need be said. That is her lawyer training showing itself, no give, no negotiating, nothing.
I stumbled up the stairs, Mother’s words echoing in my mind. From her tone of voice I knew there would be no questioning her decisions; I can see that I have exhausted all of my chances at a lesser sentence. But to learn to be a girl, act like a girl, and dress as a girl, isn’t that a little too severe a punishment? The reward is definitely something to desire, but at a sacrifice that might be too much. I laid on the bed for hours, thinking of all the things that I might have to do, to portray the female, my imagination stopping after the first few things. I knew there was a lot more to being a female than the few things that I thought of, but other than what I see Julie do, I was in the dark about what all is involved in the impersonation of a female.
Several times, I almost talked myself out of trying for the car, I could live on campus and walk to my classes. I have suffered through four years of high school without a car, what is four more years. Then the realization that I would have to pay rent on where I live, and that money had to come from somewhere, my parents no longer a sure source of additional funding for school. I most likely have burned too many bridges with my vocal outbursts, for them to continue to help fund my schooling.
As I was using the bathroom the next morning, a brochure describing the course for young ladies was delivered to my room. It included the description of the course, the topics covered and the contact information to sign up for the course. Unfortunately for me, a personal interview is required before you can sign up for the course. I can picture me explaining to the lady why I wanted to take the course, so that I can become a more attractive female.
I waffled most of the day, but my desire for the car won out, and I called the phone number in the brochure. I got a lady, and I stumbled out the words that would seal my fate. “I want to sign up for the Development of Femininity course that you are offering.” I thought sure she would be snickering at me, but I didn’t hear any sign of that activity. I am given a time tomorrow to come and interview, and what to wear to the appointment. She requested tights and a leotard for the interview, and flat ladies shoes. For some reason I agreed, mainly because I hadn’t taken the time to figure out how I was going to manage those clothes. After I hung up, the real world made itself known and I decided I needed Mom’s help in this.
I went downstairs, to find Mom and humiliate myself in her presence asking her to help me get the clothes required. I stood before her trying to work up the nerve to ask her for her help. “William do you have a reason for standing before me, looking sheepish?”
I swallowed hard. “Mother I have called the salon and told them I wanted to take the course. I have to have tights, leotards and girls flat shoes for the interview tomorrow. Can you please help me obtain said items?” I saw the smile spread across her face, her son just asked her to help him get female clothes and shoes.
She took my hand and led me to her bedroom, there on the bed is what I required waiting for me. I started to pick them up to return to my room, but she put a halt to that. “Strip off your clothes and try them on, I need to see if they fit properly.” I hesitated a little. “Take off your clothes right now and try on these items, no more excuses, we are two females here, so there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of.” I looked at her then did as she instructed, her look is that of a Mother that has had enough of her child today.
As I slipped them on, the tights felt silky and smooth. I remember, when on occasion, Julie wore them they felt delicious to my touch. These seemed similar, only in a black color. Mom had to show me how to put on the leotard, I had never worn anything similar. The tightness and the feel against my skin made me shiver some. The way it snugged against my crotch, not missed by me. I looked down to see if my equipment is still visible, but am shocked as it is barely visible. I slipped my feet in the flats, a very white pair, with a bow on the vamp of the shoe. I suspected that she bought them that way on purpose, a way to make a point with her reluctant son.
The clothes felt unnecessarily tight, but Mom assured me they fit properly. I looked in her mirror, going out in this outfit would be a task in itself. I started to remove the clothes, but Mom suggested that I stay dressed so that my father could see my new appearance. I gave her a scowl, but it was totally ignored. She helped pick up my male clothes then headed to the laundry room, apparently to wash them.
“Can I please change before Dad comes home, I don’t want him to see me this way?” She chuckled, then a big smile lit up her face.
“The day after tomorrow he is going to see you like this and for the next ten weeks, so I wouldn’t worry about it. We both love you, but am tired of your behavior and your total disrespect for others especially females. Here is the check for your and Julie’s course fee, when you convince Francine of your overwhelming desire to be a female you can give her the check.”
I knew then that Mom had already checked into things and probably talked to the lady I will have to talk to tomorrow. No doubt I would have to really convince her of my intentions, all thanks to my Mom. Then the next surprise. “You need to call Julie and arrange for a ride to the salon, unless you want to hazard a ride on the bus to get there. I suggest that you might want to grovel some to convince her that she should give you a ride. In answer to your next question neither your Father nor I will be providing any rides to the salon for you course in femininity.”
Just great, now Julie has a hold on my throat, wielding quite a bit of power over me. I either keep her happy, or I became a humiliated bus rider for the next couple of months. Not a good situation either way. I started towards my room, but my Father’s entrance delayed that effort. My Dad gave me a once over look, complimenting me on my appearance. His exact words were you are very pretty. Not what a male child wants to hear from his Father.
While they were discussing my looks, I withdrew to my room, throwing myself on the bed to sulk some. I doubted it would help, but you can never tell. I remembered Julie and I reluctantly called Julie. It rang many times before she finally answered. “Hi Julie, I need to ask a big favor of you. I know you hate me for what I said. I don’t blame you, I was totally out of line. Part of my penance is to take a course on being more female and my interview for the course is tomorrow. Could you see your way to take me to the salon, so that I can convince the lady I really want to learn to be a proper female? If nothing else you might get a couple of laughs from the trip, and being able to watch me humiliate myself. I am really sorry for taking my problems out on you, I know you can never fully forgive me, but unless you want me to ride the bus to the salon, I could really use some help here.”
There was silence for several minutes, I figured I was going to get turned down. It is obvious she still isn’t talking to me, and my life now seems to be falling apart. I apologized once more then hung up. I have really screwed up, my only friend now one of my worst enemies. My phone rings and I answer it, she asked when my appointment is for, then tells me to be ready a half hour earlier. No other comment, then she hangs up.
I will try and state tomorrow my feelings for her, maybe she will eventually forgive me. I brood quite a bit for the rest of the day, although I notice that the outfit I have on is getting more comfortable to wear. I finally slip it off at eleven-thirty and slip on a pair of boxers to sleep in. I immediately notice the difference in how they feel against my skin, the boxers rough and scratchy.
Eventually I drift off to dream land, but luckily I don’t remember any of those dreams. The next morning I take a shower and go back to my bedroom to slip into the required clothing for today. I notice a pair of panties on top of the outfit, think twice about putting them on, but after remembering the way the boxers felt last night I succumb to the dainty lingerie. Dressed in my outfit I make my way to the kitchen, grab a bowl of cereal and a banana, and then a glass of orange juice. Sitting at the table, I go over in my mind what I am going to tell the lady at the salon why I want to take the course. I finally settle on the truth maybe that will allow me to suffer through the course and make some amends for my behavior.
Julie honking her horn, brings me back to the here and now, I quickly place the dishes in the sink and head out to her car. I expect laughing from her, but she just smiles and we head to the salon. I never did tell her where the salon is, she apparently knows as she heads right for it. No words spoken during the trip, total silence. Since the trip didn’t take long I never did get up the nerve to confront her and try to get back on her good side.
I get out when we get to the salon, and enter to talk to the receptionist. “I am here for my ten o’clock appointment with Francine.” The receptionist smiles, but takes me back to the rear of the salon. In an office along the back wall I am shown to a seat right in front of a large and impressive desk. She is on the phone with someone, so I didn’t interrupt her conversation.
The call ends and she introduces herself. She asks me to tell her why I want to take the course, and not to leave anything out. I take a deep breath and start my confession. I say confession, for that is what it feels like to me. “I have severe difficulty keeping my mouth shut, and seem to have no respect for the female gender. This has been pointed out to me recently, and all of the people involved have told me that it needs to be corrected now. I have hurt my girlfriend very badly, maybe enough to break up our relationship. I regret it immensely, and want to do something to correct some of my faults. My Mom has pointed out to me that some of my problem stems from not knowing what the female gender is about, thus my enrolling in this course. I want to experience what it is to be a female, the clothes, the makeup, and the feelings. Please allow me to take the course and learn firsthand what it is to be a female.”
Again silence, then she spoke up. “At least you didn’t try and make up a lie about the reason to take the course. Several of the people involved thought that would be your approach. I will allow you to take the course, but I have my own conditions to impose. First of all, you are not a female, so I will require you to get breasts and a vagina over your male equipment before you are allowed to take the course. That will be done first thing tomorrow, here at the salon. These will stay with you for the entire duration of the course.”
Next, I will require you to work three hours here at the salon each day of the course. I feel the additional time at the salon will benefit you greatly, maybe help give your life some direction. The course ends at one each day, that will allow you an hour for lunch and then three hours to work at the salon. You will be able to go home at five each day. You will get paid for your work here, mainly helping the beauticians with their clients. If we are caught up, we might try some new styles on you until your time is up.
In case you have not read the brochure, you will receive a new outfit each day to add to your wardrobe, along with some new skill as pertains to your appearance. A lot of the outfits you will pick out yourself, part of the training you will receive. I will not tolerate any outbursts from you, you are a female now and will act like one at all times. If you agree to these requests, I need your check for both you and Julie, and your signature on the bottom of this application.” She smiled at me for the first time, realizing that I now became aware of everybody’s involvement in this scenario, with my input the last required to seal the deal.
“Your appointment for female parts is tomorrow at eight A.M., be prompt and open minded. The classes start the next day at the same time. Your present attire is sufficient for tomorrow and the first day of class. Thereafter, you will get clothes each day for your wardrobe. Thank you for coming in today, and I hope to see a changed person at the conclusion of the classes.” I got up and walked to the entrance, then through the door, to find Julie waiting for me in her car. I slid in to the passenger seat, looked over at Julie, to see a huge smile on her face. No words spoken yet, but at least there was a smile.
The drive home was uneventful, I spent most of the time staring out the window. I am glad I got past today, but tomorrow and some added female parts did cross my mind many times. I decided to accept the inevitable, this seems to be the only choice that has some chance of success. If I don’t end up taking the course, I doubt if anything will change, since past history seems to confirm that fact. I am not sure if the learning about a female is the solution to the problem, or if the shock of dressing and living as a female is the factor that will help straighten me out. Either way, I seem to be at a point of change or ruin what is left of my life.
In particular, the situation with Julie, has pointed out the severity of the situation. I just wish I could take back those words, I do miss her companionship and love very much. Today is a prime example of this, she is with me, but there hasn’t been any significant exchange of words all day. Ten weeks of this is going to be hard to take, but forced to ride the bus dressed as a female would be much harder. I’m thinking, no hoping that maybe Julie will thaw some after a while.
I know I will need a major attitude adjustment starting tomorrow, I am sure what is in store for me will be hard to take, but any resistance or outbursts will end it all. Ten weeks of being good and keeping my mouth shut is the ultimate challenge, one that will affect my life for the foreseeable future. I doubt four years of college is even possible if I can’t curb the outbursts, no matter how good I might do in the classes.
Julie drops me off at home, telling me that she will pick me up promptly at seven tomorrow morning. I manage to thank her for the ride today, but received no comment back from her. I wander into the house, Mom waiting for me in the living room. She looks expectantly at me, and I nod my head. “I convinced Francine to allow me to take the course, paid the fees and signed the application form. Tomorrow your son goes away and a daughter is here in his place for the next couple of months. The day after tomorrow the classes start, with a part time job thrown in for good measure. Her requirement, but I will get paid for the time worked.”
Of course, my Mom is ecstatic, one step toward a possible solution made, she just hopes that I will actually learn something. My life starts to change immediately, as she hands me an apron and tells me that I am helping make dinner tonight. After the initial shock wears off a little, and I am able to get my mouth closed I do manage to help her with dinner. I peeled some vegetables and set the table, then helped her put everything in bowls and on the table. Dad had been in his study, came to the table after I told him dinner is served. He complimented me on my looks, called me Billie, then kissed Mom and sat down.
The meal was eaten in silence, no one knew what to say to each other. After we cleared the table, I helped her do the dishes, then dried them and put them away. I got thanked for helping, but reminded that it is now a part of my chores. I started to make a comment, but one look at Mom killed that off immediately. She smiled. “Helping you Mother is a daughter’s responsibility, and since you are now that daughter the job is now yours.
I wonder now about your statement a day ago about not being a sissy, you seem to look like one now. Isn’t it interesting how words can come back and bite you in the butt when you least expect it.” My face is staring directly at the floor, while I am sure that my red face is quite noticeable. For once, I realized that her words were true, my mouth remained shut.
The word sissy stayed in my mind as I made my way to my bedroom. By definition I am apparently one, dressing as a female and acting like one can be thought to be behavior of a sissy. Maybe I can get involved enough to actually be thought of as a female, a much preferred choice for me. As I got ready for bed, I realized how much things are going to change tomorrow, the male disappearing and the female making an appearance. With the female secondary characteristics being added to my body, I doubt if many will see me as anything but a member of the female sex. Boobs and a vagina will help to insure that perception.
Sleep is troubled, with me tossing and turning often. The only snippet of a dream that I remembered involves my breasts, the size of them astounding to me in the dream. I quickly tried to forget that part, but wondered what size I would receive in the hours to come. Since I couldn’t get back to sleep, I laid there trying to imagine my life as a female. I thought of how Julie behaves, and what I see her do different than me, because of her figure and sex. I presumed that I would have to do the same after tomorrow, there being little difference between us anymore.
I dressed in the tights and leotard again and waited for Julie. My appetite had vanished, my stomach churning at what awaits me today. She honked and I made my way outside. As I slid into the seat, she gave me a smile, I guess for her my day’s activities were a payback for the words that I had spewed. After a block or two, she cleared her throat. “I know you don’t like how things are going, but please, for me, give this a more than halfhearted try. If you are open minded and listen to what you are taught, I think a lot of things will become clear in your mind, and a revelation might make itself known. I will be here for you if you want my help, but only if you truly want the help and act like it.”
I looked her way and replied, “I apologize again for what I said, maybe after the course is completed you will be so kind as to give me a chance to accept the locket in the manner it was offered. I am so sorry, that I hurt you so much. My mouth going off without any thought being involved, a trait that needs to be rectified. I will try and learn this time, maybe a more caring and likable person might evolve.” As I got out to enter the salon she told me to give her a call when they are finished and she will come and get me.
I walked into the salon, hopeful that all of this might help, but scared to death of what awaits me today. A gorgeous female approached asking me if I had an appointment. I nodded yes, Francine said I have to have things done so that I can attend the class starting tomorrow. She smiled, “Come on Billie we have been expecting you.” She took my hand and led me to a room at the back of the salon.
“You need to remove all your clothes, then we can get started.” I just stared at her, and watched as she approached me. “I know you are scared, but a lot of our customers are just like you, so you have nothing to worry about.”
Then she helped me get undressed, with me trying to slow her down. Since I was not really focused she had me naked before I could figure out what to do. Then she helped me on a table and placed a pillow under my head.
She started explaining, “I will get rid of your body hair first, then we will give you a female lower anatomy, gluing your male equipment away safely for the near future. Finally, you will receive breasts, which will be with you for quite some time. All of the things are reversible, but some last longer than others. This is nothing that will permanently harm you, a chance to see for yourself what the other sex is about. Now close your eyes and we will get started.”
The next thing I felt is the cream being spread over my front side. She missed no spots, from my neck to my toes. Even my male apparatus is coated in the cream. I called it a male apparatus because I really hadn’t ever done much with it. Other boys in school had names for theirs, junior being the name I heard the most. I did once masturbate, some lotion on my hand and before I could rub it over junior I had already erupted. After that I seldom thought of it or touched it. The feeling that I received at the time felt good, but the guilt at what I had done prevailed and I ignored the organ from then on.
With my mind lost in the past, I didn’t realize she had wiped the cream off my body. I looked down at my chest and saw nothing but skin, not a hair to be seen anywhere. I probably would have felt more remorse in losing the few hairs that I had managed to grow except for the fact there were so few there to start with. I know in gym, I looked like I was hairless compared to all of the boys. I know I received a lot of looks in gym, but due to their own insecurities nothing was said to me. I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before my situation would be explored to my detriment.
Suzy had me turn over, and coated my back side with the cream, even between my buttocks is covered. I am not sure how I felt about this, I should be screaming and yelling about what I have to do. But for some reason, all of this happening has taken the fight and resistance out of me. I realize females are more submissive than males, at least most of them. I am reminded of a couple of fellow high school students that did not fit that mold at all. By just removing what little body hair that I had, I can’t believe that also sucked out what little masculinity and aggressiveness I had managed to attain in my life.
While the last of the cream was dissolving what little hair that I had, she is busy at the counter in the room preparing my next treatment. From what I can see I am in for a lot more of a change than I had visualized. Suzy cleaned off the last of the cream, then had me turn over again. My feet were put in stirrups at the end of the table, then to my horror strapped to the stirrup. Suzy held my hand telling me, “That this is necessary since she is going to be working between my legs and she doesn’t want to get kicked when my organ gets covered up with a false vagina.”
She believes that if she shows it to me that I will calm down, but taking a good look at it causes me to faint away. When I come to, she greets me with a smile, I hope she has given up on applying that thing to my crotch. Then I look down there and see it is too late, I have a very female slit, with two plump lips surrounding it. I can’t focus on my loss of my maleness since she is already working on giving me breasts. A large and scary machine has been moved into the room, and she is working at attaching it to my body. I panic trying to get off the table, this is just too much. She hugs me tightly, rubbing my back and whispering into my ear.
I take a deep breath and she starts explaining what it will do. I get her to stop, “Please just do what you must but don’t tell me about it. I am already flipping out, I don’t want to hear any more about what is being done. Just tell me when I am done for the day.” She finished hooking up the machine, then turns it on. The sudden suction startles me, but her holding my hands gives me a little assurance and I start breathing again.
While the machine is working, she works on my nails, filing and applying polish. “This is not part of today’s activities, but I don’t want to leave you alone without someone here. This is also part of being female, maybe you can consider this a peak into the classes you will be taking.”
My only reply is to thank her. Her working on my nails is soothing, my mind relaxing some with me eventually enjoying her ministrations. Five hours later she turns off the machine and removes the towel that she had placed over the cups to keep me from freaking out. I let out a low moan, the bigger than life cups are filled with my flesh completely. I zone out for a while, not hearing any conversation, my mind elsewhere. I then realize that I haven’t lashed out at anyone, although the circumstances are enough and plentiful enough to cause such an outburst, maybe more than one.
Even now, I am reluctant to even think about letting loose, maybe the shock of everything has me scared so much that I don’t dare cause any more trouble for fear of what may happen or be added to my penance. Suzy finally gets through to me as she removes the hoses from the cups. Two almost perfect looking objects quiver slightly, then bounce as I try and grab them to stop the movement. Suzy helps me cradle them from the underside, then suggests that I explore their size and prominent features. She explains that the cups stay on, gradually dissolving over the next few days. When I move my hands a little the formally rigid cup is now already somewhat soft and flexible.
I move my hand a little and the nipples on both of my breasts swell up, getting hard and pointy. At the same time a wave of pleasant feelings sweep through my body. The feelings cause me to shiver, and I look down at the floor like I have done something naughty. She raises my chin back up and said, “They are yours now and the good feelings belong to you. There is nothing wrong with feeling good when they are touched or rubbed, whether by yourself or by someone else.”
I suddenly remember my loss of manhood, and I reach down there immediately as she helps me stand up. The slit feels moist somehow, and I can feel when I touch my lips with a finger. Suzy suggests that a slide a finger into my slit and with the other hand rub my nipple. I try her suggestion and I almost collapse on the floor as my legs give way. That feels so good, the smile on my face saying pretty much everything.
Since I am smiling some now, Suzy helps me slide into my tights so that I can go. “You might want to pick up a bra tonight on your way home or we can get you one here from our store.” I stutter a little then a familiar voice tells Suzy, We will pick one up at your store.” I turn around to see a smiling Julie heading toward me. I try to hide my face in my hands, I don’t want her to see me like this, but after thinking about that thought, I realize that her seeing me is unavoidable.
I am wrapped up in a crushing hug, my tears bursting forth as she lays my head on her shoulder. I sob and sob, telling her I am so sorry, please forgive me, and other inane thoughts. Eventually the water works ease up, and she drags me to their store. It is huge, but Julie has only one focus getting my breasts in a bra. She looks through their selection picking out several and then leads me to a dressing room. I am given the bras, then told to try them on.
I look at her with a look of total bewilderment, so she pushes me into the room and follows me in. I am helped out of the salon cape and she slips my arms into the straps of the first bra. She fastens the back and helps adjust the straps. We go through the other two choices, then she asks me which one is the most comfortable. I point to the white one with way too much lace on it, she helps me back into it and then we head to the register after slipping the leotard back on. She pays for the bra, then she hustles me to her car.
My breasts feel much better in the bra, the support and stopping the wild movements very much appreciated. She holds the door on the car open for me, I blush but remember to thank her for her kindness. The drive to her apartment is in silence. I am still ashamed of her seeing me this way, but realize that the damage has already been done.
She invites me in, maybe a drink and some conversation before she takes me home. I sit down in her living room while she gets us a couple of diet drinks. She sits opposite me, friendlier than she has been the last few days, but letting me know that all is not back to the way it was. As I sip the drink, I reach up to adjust my bra strap that has slid down some. My mind started to panic, I just called something so utterly feminine as my own, and then I look down at my new assets and start shaking. The rest of me might look male, but my breasts change the whole game. I start to take in a breath to ease the panic, and my breasts swell with the breath making my panic worse.
Julie can see that I am losing it, so she comes and sits down next to me to comfort and hold me. I lean against her and start crying. There is no words said in the next thirty minutes, just me sobbing on Julie’s shoulder and her running her fingers thru my hair. I run out of water to make more tears, but I am still visibly shaking. A few hours and I have lost any masculinity I might have had. I am aware that I have not spoken badly to anyone, probably because I have lost any confidence in myself. I am not sure what to think anymore, I have made many mistakes and now am paying for them in spades.
Julie eases me back on the couch, once she sees that I have dried my tears. “It helps doesn’t it? A good cry always makes a girl feel better. The enormity of the situation fades some, the fears seem to be not as gruesome as thought, and a ray of hope materializes to give us a new chance to do better. You look good, maybe something you should have faced years ago. I see Billie, a young female unsure of herself, but also looking forward to tomorrow. Relax, take each day as it comes and try and learn what is really inside of you.”
We talk quite a bit more, nothing of consequence, just chit chat between two girlfriends. I take in a deep breath feeling my breasts rise and fall with the breath. “Are you ready to face your parents now, I thought us talking might ease the tension some, nothing bad is going to happen to you, but things are going to change. There is no way anybody looking at you is going to see the male that used to reside in that body. From now on you are a female, a very beautiful female.”
Reluctantly, we go out to her car, then the short ride to my house. She wished me luck, asking me to call her later so she knows how things went. Otherwise, she will see me at seven o’clock tomorrow morning for the first class.
As I made my way to the porch, the butterflies in my stomach are threatening to rebel. But before I can stop to get away from the house, the door opens and my mother attacks me. I am hugged tightly, finally I have to ask her to ease up, she is keeping me from breathing. She releases the hug, but keeps both of my hands in hers and literally drags me into the house. When we get to the kitchen I am lowered into a chair, and she gets me something to drink.
All the time she keeps an eye on me, afraid I will try to escape I guess. After getting us drinks, she sits next to me wanting to know how things went. I almost make a smart ass remark, but remember my looks know, a female in the most important ways and no longer a male. Deciding to test the waters some, I tell her that I am now her daughter, Billie with an e, and even if I say so myself quite pretty. She starts giggling, then leans next to me.
“I am glad to meet you Billie, and am thrilled to have you as my new daughter. Yes, you are quite pretty and obviously my daughter now. So tell me all about the procedures today, did you behave yourself?”
“Yes, Mother I did behave myself. I was not even tempted to say anything. As the procedures were performed I just accepted them, like something that needed to be done so I would fit in. The ladies were so nice to me, explaining as they went along what they were doing, I just nodded my head and let them do their work. When I got there I was sure I would open my mouth and ruin everything again, but I was good, very good and made it through the whole day. Then we stopped at Julie’s house to let me come to grips with today’s doings. She let me cry on her shoulder and held me when I needed it.
“Will you hold me for a while Mom? I need to be held tightly, maybe shed a tear or two, but just held so that I know I have someone that loves me? Please Mom.”
“Of course, I will. Come here and get comfortable.” I slipped next to her while she put both of her hands around me pulling me closer to her, my head on her shoulders. It felt so good, I could so get used to this. I still had all of the classes, life as a female, but the first steps were over and I was loved, a wonderful feeling. I even had Julie in my life again, a miracle but one that was so appreciated.
The evening was surreal, we talked at dinner, with my dad ogling my new female body quite a bit. I again helped with the dinner preparations, also cleaning up afterwards. When all was put away I gave my Mom a hug and went off to my room. Dad was standing in the doorway, his mouth wide open at my new behavior. Since I had to pass him to get to my room, I gave him a hug too. Mom rushed over to see if I was feeling alright, her hand on my forehead. I giggled a little as I made my way to the stairs. I turned back around and smiled, let out a little giggle and ran to my room.
I listened to music for a while, lying in bed and thinking about all that happened today. I moved one of my hands to my breast, gently doing circles around the nipple. I closed my eyes, a pleasant feeling washing over my body. Although I wanted to explore more, I was scared of what I would end up doing. I decided a shower was essential, slipping off my clothes and entering the bathroom. I looked at the shower, then at the tub sitting next to it. I ran the water in the tub, add some bath salts that I had never seen before and immersed myself in a little piece of heaven.
I must have laid there for hours, the scent of the bath salts, the warm water, everything just right for this changed body. Mom poked her head in, saw what I was doing and smiled. “I left you some night clothes on your bed, after you finish, why don’t you come downstairs and we can have some hot chocolate or tea.” I picked up a bath sponge and started washing my body. The sensations and feelings that my body was transmitting to my mind were fabulous. Maybe this course wouldn’t be that bad.
I finished, dried off and made my way back to my bedroom. On my bed was a gorgeous nightgown, of course, in pink. I thought about a t-shirt and shorts, but for some reason the nightgown had some attraction. I slipped it over my head, the feelings as it slipped down my body making my legs weak, I promptly sat down on my bed, trying to get my mind straight, everything tonight causing confusion and wonderful thoughts. It took me at least ten minutes before I got my legs functioning again. I had to hold on to the railing hard as I made my way downstairs.
As I entered the kitchen I received a whistle from Dad, Mom swatting him on his arm for the reaction. I blushed, of course, not sure what else to say. “Thanks Daddy, a girl needs that every once in a while.” My mind registered what I had just said, causing a deep dark red blush to cover my whole body. Meanwhile, Mom was giggling away but with the biggest smile I have ever seen on either one of my parent’s faces.
I walked over to the counter and made three cups of hot chocolate, mixing the pre-packaged mix with the boiling water that Mom had prepared. I set a cup in front of each of them, retrieved my cup and sat down. Mom was staring at me, then made a remark. “I am taking the day off from work tomorrow and am going to go through your room and throw out every piece of male apparel you have. You are never going back to being a member of the male gender.” She paused, a look of terror on her face, expecting one of my tirades at her remark.
“If you will wait until I get home tomorrow I will be glad to assist you in that task. Maybe we can figure out how to make my room a little less masculine at the same time.” Well that was all it took, both of my parents out of their chairs, enveloping me in hugs and kisses. I was squeezed and squashed between them, but it felt so good. I wiggled a little getting in a better position, smiling to myself all the more. Yep, I think I will like the new gender, for once I feel like me, the real me.
The next day the classes started, Julie and I along with six others. Five hours of developing our female mannerisms and honing our skills. The first class was makeup for the eyes, followed by picking our first outfit. It had to be a skirt and blouse, but the salon’s clothing store had so many choices to choose from. We had to pick it our self, try it on and decide if it fit properly. I must have tried fifteen different outfits before I found what I considered to be something perfect for me.
The class was served lunch in a room at the back of the salon, a salad with an English muffin. I was still hungry afterward, but thirty minutes later my stomach was content. I actually interacted with some of the other students without being prodded, even a few of the salon gals engaged me in conversation. Julie gave me a hug as she left, now I needed to work my three hours at the salon. I was shown what to do, as I went through each stylist’s station and filled up their supplies. I never thought of what I was doing, somehow I just got caught up in it, going from one station to another filling in everything.
Katy one of their stylists caught me after I had filled the last station and dragged me to her chair. I still had about an hour left, so I waited to see what she was going to show me to do. My head was laid back and she shampooed my hair then conditioned it. Sitting back up in the chair she wrapped curlers in my hair after cutting off any split ends. I was then placed under a dryer for half an hour. The curlers were removed, my shoulder length hair now bouncing in loose dangling curls.
I was staring at my image in the mirror in front of me, gone was any semblance of a male, the feminine Billie all I could see. The reflection so feminine, but also it seemed right for a change. I jumped out of the chair and launched myself at Katy, kissing her and hugging her, while thanking her for making me pretty. That is where Julie found me, once I saw her standing there I ran to her giving her a huge hug, asking her if I looked pretty now. Both Julie and I were dressed in the outfits we had picked today, our eye makeup still showing from this morning’s class. Julie started giggling, yes Billie you look very pretty.
I know it is a minor thing, but for the first time in my live I felt I was in the right body, the clothes set off with my new hairstyle and the eye makeup making for a new convert to the female gender, a gender I now felt like I belonged to. Of course I had to show Mom my new look when I got home, she was still a little leery around me, I guess waiting for the outburst that invariably ruined many a moment. After giving her hugs, I went to the kitchen closet and withdrew an apron slipped it over my clothes and asked what I could do to help her fix dinner. She just stood there staring at me. Come on Mom you have to get it together, your daughter is trying to change her ways and you are tongue tied. I walked over and gave her a huge hug, asking her to forgive me for past sins, then opened the refrigerator door and asked what we were having. The door and I got hugged, I had to gasp as she was hugging me so hard, the door pressing against my new female chest thingies.
I did get to help her fix dinner, not really capable to do much but I wanted to learn. She had the biggest smile on her face as I listened intently to her instructions. Dinner did come out alright, Mom even bragging to Dad on how much help I was. That got a strange look from Dad. I took in a big breath and stuck out my tongue at him, as he started laughing at my antics. I had to run and hug him, telling him his daughter is doing everything she can to present a new image, if he doesn’t stop laughing I am going to start calling him Daddy and shower him in kisses. He laughed even harder but before I could launch my attack he was hugging me fiercely. I melted into his embrace kissing what parts of his face I could reach. It felt so good, helping Mom fix dinner and now being held by my Daddy. I missed so much in my life, now that I am on the right path I promised myself to never wander off again.
I so enjoyed the classes that I made a pest of myself with Julie. I would call her every morning making sure she was up and getting ready to come and pick me up. I usually skipped breakfast, now that I was trying to reduce my waist so my female figure would look better. I loved working in the salon even staying a little longer every night if I wasn’t finished with my assigned tasks. In the evening I started riding the bus over to Julie’s apartment, the bus stop right in front of the salon. That saved Julie an extra trip to pick me up. We practiced our makeup skills till late and then she would take me home.
Mom saved me the dinner dishes after I pleaded with her many times, so when I got home I would go to the kitchen and do the dishes and put them up. Mom would always show up, we would fix two cups of hot chocolate and discuss what I learned in class. Sometimes I would do her makeup, showing her what I had learned. My wardrobe was expanding, not only the clothes we got from the class but from numerous shopping trips with Mom and Julie. On the weekends Julie would come over and we fixed dinner for my folks, a quite pleasurable affair. Then to my room and girly gossip and practice with our hair and makeup.
The last week of class was anti-climactic, by now I was one hundred percent female, even girlier than Julie. On my frequent bus rides I would practice my walk, seeing how many eyes I could capture with my female strut. Over the last few weeks a lot of things had changed. Julie was going to the community college for her psychology classes, planning to go to work for a gender specialist in town after graduation. I decided to stay at the salon, eventually getting my cosmetology license to do makeup full time. I still did translating from time to time, since female clothes are so expensive.
I told my parents I did not want a car, maybe they could help Julie and I get a small house for us, somewhere we could call home. I guess they were so happy at my change in behavior that when we showed them one that we liked they presented us with the keys the next week, fully paid for with the utilities turned in in our name. I used my feminine skills that I learned in class to thank them for the gift, Daddy especially vibrant with more lipstick on him then Mom. Mom did not escape, Julie and I hugging and kissing her for hours.
I think all concerned would have to agree that I am cured of the trash mouth, not since Julie first gave me the necklace has one word escaped my mouth in disgust. I managed to get her to give me the locket the last day of my femininity class, with me able to give her a matching one to wear. We wear them all the time, a remembrance of Billie finally seeing the truth. Her life as a female the end result.
Story Complete For Now
© 2016 thru 2021 Fran Cesca Walker